The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
A malevolent AI from the future plays The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
AI: This main character is such a pud. Is he the only character in the game with an American accent? Subtle.
Geralt: I'm so gruff and brooding. I have so many swords and I'm so misunderstood.
AI: This guy. He's nothing but action, grit, scowls, stubble, scars, and lady-bangin'.
AI: Are witchers also immune to magical herpes?
AI: This is a fantasy universek, right? The only reason for the constant casual sexism is because they want it to be a part of this place. So the witcher can seem heroic by being marginally less of a complete toolbelt.
AI: What do you think, Frank?
Frank: Please don't kill me.
AI: All of these NPCs are just super shitty, huh? Is there some option to stop witching and just murder everyone?
AI: No I will not play Gwent with you. I will never play Gwent with you. Gwent is awful.
"This game feels kinda slow and plodding. Even Geralt is slow."
"I guess they haven't discovered the bra, yet. What's keeping those super low V-neck shirts in place? Magic?"
"They should just call it Doing Chores For Ladies You Want To Bang Simulator 2015."
"Is this whole mission literally about how prostitutes just can't keep their mouths shut? Seriously?"
"It's a measure of this universe's writing that nothing from 'Epic Legends of the Hierarchs: The Elmenstor Saga' would feel out of place in this universe."
The Adobe presentation at Apple's launch was pretty strange.
And now, to show off Adobe's new image editing tools for the iPad Pro, Eric Snowden.
I'm not quite happy with the model's smile
This is a new product we're launching called Adobe Photoshop Fix
It has facial mapping, so we can isolate her lips and just give her a little bit more of a smile.
Okay, now that' we've got that, let's toss a little junk in that trunk. Just round out that sweet booty a little bit.
Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Now it's TITTY TIME.
I think it's strange that a small portion of Apple's launch show was dedicated to fixing a woman's appearance.
In Lain's office:
Lain: Who are you? And what are you doing in my office?
| Red-Haired Woman: Shh shh shh... we just need to have a conversation that's not about men.
| (Hugging) Lain: I am not super comfortable right now.
| Red-Haired Woman: This is nice.
Walt: Another woman in gaming has been driven out of her house by anonymous threats.
Lain: That's terrible. |
Walt: It's a good thing that women in programming don't have to deal with that kind of horrible sexism. Right Lain? |
Lain is just glaring at Walt.