#219 - kik

This comic isn't worth showing you, just me throwing a whole lot of shade at kik messenger for something stupid that they did.

Move along.

Transcript

Kik spokesman: NOW I'D LIKE TO START BY REASSURING EVERYONE THAT WE HERE AT KIK INTERACTIVE ARE REAL HUMANS, JUST LIKE YOU, AND NOT GIANT DICKS.

Kik spokesman: KIK INTERACTIVE ASSERTS SOVEREIGNTY OVER THE THREE LETTERS "KIK", IN ANY ARRANGEMENT, COMMERCIAL OR NON, IN PERPETUITY THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE AND TIME, FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN.
[Slide: kik]

Kik spokesman: THIS MIGHT BE WHAT YOU'D EXPECT FROM A RACE OF PENIS PEOPLE WALKING AMONGST THE SURFACE DWELLING HUMANS. BUT WE ARE NOT PENISES WHO WALK AS MEN DO. WE ARE REAL HUMAN-PEOPLE.
[Slide: NO]

Kik spokesman: WE FOUND SOME NON-COMMERCIAL ENTITY SQUATTING IN THE NAMESPACE "KIK" ON NPM. WHICH, AS I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU, WE OWN. BUT AFTER WE TOLD HIM POLITELY TO FUCK OFF OUR PROPERTY, HE SAID NO!

Kik spokesman: HE CLAIMS THAT WE THREATENED HIM WITH LEGAL ACTION, WHICH IS TOTALLY OFF BASE. WE IMPLIED IT. AND IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK!

Kik spokesman: I DON'T SEE HOW WE HAD ANY CHOICE BUT TO REPEATEDLY THREATEN NPM WITH LEGAL ACTION; AND I'D LIKE TO LAUD THEIR COURAGE IN SUCCUMBING SO QUICKLY TO OUR GREASY WHEEDLING.
[Slide: npm]

Kik spokesman: AND THEN THAT JERK TOOK HUNDREDS OF HIS PACKAGES OFF NPM, NOT JUST THE ONE WE WANTED.

Kik spokesman: TURNS OUT WE NEEDED ONE OF HIS PACKAGES. AND WITHOUT IT, WE COULD NOT ERECT OUR SOFTWARE, ALONG WITH THOUSANDS OF OTHER HUMAN-PEOPLE.

Kik spokesman: BUT WORRY NOT- NPM HAS ASSURED US THAT THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, AND THEY WERE ABLE TO GET US BACK UP AGAIN IN A FEW HOURS.

[CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 - ©2016 - CURTIS LASSAM & LORIN BEER @ CUBE-DRONE.COM]