what this escaped the corporate intranet

STOP DOING VALUES

• CORPORATE CULTURE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TURNED INTO A RELIGION
• YEARS OF PERFORMANCE REVIEW yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for “LEADING WITH INTEGRITY”
• Wanted to codify and share corporate culture? We had a tool for that: it was called “DRINKING”
• “Yes, I am embodying CREATE ROOM TO GROW. This quarter I was incredible at DRIVE CURIOSITY.” - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged.

LOOK at what HR have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all of the performance reviews & handbooks we built for them:

okay, so, funny story, in the DeltaGreen TTRPG there’s a group of people called “The Dream Syndicate” with a fake website

so I follow the link, I go to the website, and I think “whoa, this is INSANE, the language feels so CULTY, I love that they went to all of this trouble to build a fake online cult to match their description in the source book”

and then I read about the Dream Syndicate in the source book and it doesn’t match at all

this is just a real website?

modern american companies are way, way down the jim jones pipeline to fuckin’ cult city

tell me your company doesn’t have a set of commandments (c.f. “values”) you’re supposed to live by and a holy mission

sometimes I stay up at night worrying that I’ll join a company that doesn’t have “Teamwork” and “Innovation” in its core values, and instead has “Collaboration” and “Inventiveness”

i’m not sure if I’d be able to survive the change