One time my wife and I ate our entire

One time my wife and I ate our entire greek meal in perfect silence because the date next to us was going so poorly that we couldn't help but eavesdrop. We still make fun of whatever black hole that ate that man's charisma to this day.

The date: he negged her constantly ("I don't usually date girls as plain as you") and talked up his own karate skills, she spent some time in the washroom and then had a friend just casually pop in and rescue her from the date.

(My wife and I were quietly texting as to whether or not it would appropriate to pretend to be this woman's friend and give her an out, but she clearly had her own exit strategy.)

another time we were at a Keg steakhouse and a whole bachelor party asked a drunken loudmouth one table over to "pipe down"

which caused him to erupt in rage and create a gigantic scene

and, again, to this day, sometimes my I or my wife will shout "ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY PIPES?!? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!? WAITER! THIS GUY'S TALKIN' ABOUT MY PIPES!! " because that guy's inappropriate-for-the-situation drunken boomer rage is now a load bearing bad restaurant story.

it's such a weird, incoherent response to being asked to pipe down, too, like he wanted to go somewhere clever with the pipe analogy but was too drunk to bring it home