So, I thought (foolishly) that I'd wade into Google's
So, I thought (foolishly) that I'd wade into Google's AI ecosystem, on account of I'm pretty much already paying for it (I already pay for YouTube Premium and their smallest 100GB of shared storage space, so for a Promotional Price I can try out their bundle plan and see if I like it...)
Here's the problem: Google has 394 different AI products, most of them aren't terribly good, and they're all changing so rapidly that even Gemini has no idea which ones are currently active
"Does the upgraded AI plan make my watch stop hallucinating terrible answers at me?"
"No, regardless of your plan your watch uses Gemini 3.5 Flash, a highly optimized model that will cheerfully misinterpret even the most basic of queries."
"Hey, watch, I'm making a gravy, can I include white wine in a roux?"
".... Yes, white wine adds a crisp, refreshing note to a room, especially when served chilled."
"A roux. ROUX!"
"Yes, definitely. Add a sprig of fresh rue to your space for its distinct, herbal aroma. "
I'm going to open Android Studio and try and learn some of the basics of android dev, let's see how that goes.
... "how do I connect this to my phone"
SORRY NO MAN, CAN'T DO IT
No, see, the Gemini in Android Studio is different from the one that comes with Google's AI plan, if you want to talk to that one you need to download Antigravity
"Hey, Gemini, how do I upload my files to NotebookLM?"
"Upload them to Google Drive, the integration is automatic, just open the Gemini there"
(so I upload my files to Google Drive and consult with the Gemini there)
No, sorry, that Gemini has never heard of NotebookLM, there's no integration, what are you talking about?
Each of these distinct Gemini, when they fail, are quickly to route me back to the payment window, which then cheerfully confirms that I have, in fact, already paid for the Google AI plan: if it weren't for the fact that I paid $1.50CAD I would be significantly more irate than I currently am, but at present I've simply resolved not to keep giving Google money for their ludicrous services
it wasn't just these use cases, it was several other use cases, Google is simply offering too many different Geminis for any of them to have any idea which one you're supposed to communicate with to accomplish any specific task, giving interacting with the lot of them the vibe of interacting with the Canadian Government
Nobody's sure exactly which department you're supposed to contact to solve your problem but it's certainly not this one
Like, I've interacted with telecom customer service so I know the exact feeling of being bounced around between a legion of slightly different customer service agents who are friendly and very badly want to help but simply do not have the intelligence, capability, or access to accurate information to do so
but that's not a customer experience anybody speaks highly of
because of the $1.50 price tag, the fact that this technically comes with access to Opus 4.6 through antigravity means that at least during the trial period, it's a pretty good deal: but that comes with the enormous caveat that it might inspire you to try and explore the Google AI Product Line and ... boy are they ever doing an awful lot of things, badly
with the AI pro plan you may or may not have access to Nanobanana, Omni, Genie, Veo, NotebookLM, CoScientist, SIMA, Astra, Mariner, Music AI, Lyria, Spark, AI Studio, AI Mode, Flash, Pro,
and also some of these are Gemini and some of them are accessible through Gemini and some of the Geminis are actually these things but not ALL of them
i miss when Google cadence for shipping and sun-setting cursed new projects was measured in years, at least, rather than months